The violence cases in dating was increasing year to year in Malang. In 2009, the number of cases reported to the police were 14 cases. It was then 22 cases in 2010. "It was just those reported. If we would be more aware about it, there would be more cases, than that number, in society and students also," explained Elisabet Polnaya, who handled the Protection of Women and Children Polresta Malang.
Elisabet was one of speakers in the discussion held by Faculty of Social and Political Science (FISIP) UMM, with Non-Governmental Organization We Can Indonesia and lectures and also the students of FISIP UMM, in Hall of BAU, Tuesday (11/23). It was held to commemorate Hari Penghapusan Kekerasan Terhadap Perempuan Sedunia. They took “Hidup Terhormat Tanpa Kekerasan dalam Pacaran” as the topic of discussion.
Not only Elisabet, there were also four speakers who presented about various points of view of things. They were Dean Vice III of FISIP UMM Drs. Abdulah Masmuh, M.Si (Islamic points of view), a lecturer of Sociology UMM Luluk Dwi Kumala Sari S.Sos, M.Si (Sociological points of view), the Chief of Suara Perempuan Desa Kota Batu Salma Safitri S.H, and the Head of FISIP Student Association Fredy.
Masmuh stated that in Islam, the concept of knowing each others was taught, but it should have limitation. For those who had not got married yet, ta'aruf is a term for knowing each others through mediator's help. So, there would not be any dating before marriage. The word dating was originally from Western culture which spread over the world, including Indonesia. "It starts from staring at each another, introducting, making friend, till going anywhere with one person only, then having the same feeling, and so on," said Masmuh.
According to Luluk Dwi Kumala Sari, in a relationship, women were those who had often been disadvantaged. It was considering that men were stronger than them. Violences in dating usually were caused by jealous partner who always wanted to know where his partner was, loved to blame his own mistakes on his partner, and also treat his partner fully force.
Fredy told that in students’ daily life, they were vulnerable to acts of violence in dating. Fredy gave an example of his friend. His friend told him that she experienced violence in dating, by her boyfriend, but she still did not want report her boyfriend. That was why Elizabeth and Salma Safitri always insisted that the act of violence in dating should immediately be reported for immediate follow-up. "Even you really in love with someone, do not have yourself being tortured," added Elisabet. (trs/nas/t_ris)